A hooded armed robber bursts into a bank.......

Got this in an email today


A hooded armed robber bursts into a bank and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash.
On his way out the door with the loot one brave customer grabs the hood and pulls it off revealing the robber's face.
The robber shoots the guy without hesitation! He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him. One of the tellers is looking straight at him and the robber shoots him also.
Everyone by now is very scared and looking down at the floor.
"Did anyone else see my face?" calls the robber.

There is a few moments silence, then one man, raises his hand and says "I think my wife may have caught a glimpse..."

Santa vs God is there really any difference?

Image from here: http://unreasonablefaith.com/2008/12/15/santa-vs-god/

Vasectomy: $400. Speechless look on her face: priceless

LMAO reading this gem

'll try to sum up a funny story that happened a few years ago:

I got a vasectomy.

I met a girl soon afterwards. She was nice and attractive but with a selfish streak that raised a big red flag. She was 32 at the time and I could practically HEAR her biological clock ticking. Regardless, she was a good lay, easy on the eyes, and reasonably good company.

I did NOT tell her about my vasectomy and I always used a condom with her to protect against STDs. She assumed, obviously, that the condom was only used for birth control. Silly girl.

We date for a few months. I never made any move towards commitment but she brought it up ocassionally. For me, this was a casual but pleasant relationship. For her - as I was to find out - it was part of life-changing series of events that she was planning very carefully.

Four months into dating, I get the "I'm pregnant" talk. She's going on and on about how the condom must have broke and now we really need to think about getting married "for the baby". She's positively giddy. She has a baby in her and she thinks she's gonna have a good meal ticket (me) to go along with her new 7lb annuity.

At this point, I'm just as giddy. I get to pull the reverse "oops" on her. I figured that she slept with some bad boy and got knocked up. Good thing I was using condoms! Better still that I have a serious mistrust of women who can't think beyond their own uteri.

Rest here: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/274495936.html

How many cops does it really take to capture a naked lunatic?

How many cops does it really take to capture a naked lunatic?



Looks like a lot of cops are needed, just pepper-spray the sucker next time

Can I have a beer man?

Wayne from Times Square

Deutsche Bank downgraded General Motors Corp. to sell from hold, with a price target of $0

Deutsche Bank downgraded General Motors Corp. to sell from hold, with a price target of $0

Deutsche Bank downgraded General Motors Corp. to sell from hold, with a price target of $0, saying the car maker may not be able to fund its U.S. operations beyond December without government intervention

I think this is the first time I have seen a price target of zero on a stock. Wow that is amazing. I do however think that the US government will bail out GM and other auto makers.

http://www.marketwatch.com/news/story/deutsche-bank-views-gm-shares/story.aspx?guid={5BBC7AEE-1D84-40F6-95E2-241FB03C17EC}&dist=msr_8

Foreplay is overrated, according to researchers

Foreplay may be overrated according to a survey based on 2,300 women, which found that it has little or no significance when it comes to the likelihood of having an orgasm.

I will have to let my wife read this article. Here is some of the interesting stuff

In the study, reported in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, the academics quizzed a representative sample of 2,360 Czech women of all ages about details of their sex lives, including orgasmic consistency with a partner along with estimated duration of foreplay and intercourse.

Results show that for the women in the study, the average duration of foreplay was 15.4 minutes, and intercourse, 16.2 minutes.

The researchers point out that 16.2 minutes is considerably longer than reported in American studies, where intercourse was found to last on average seven minutes.

They added: "It could be that this reflects, a greater appreciation of intercourse and sensuality by Europeans than by Americans."

Interesting

they suggest that the longer intercourse lasts, the greater the probability of orgasm for the women

Well, that I would call a no-brainer, what else can you expect, the longer intercourse lasts, the smaller the probability of orgasm for the women? I don't thinks so.

The link to the story in the Telegraph is here: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3405928/Foreplay-is-overrated-researchers-claim.html

Michael Crichton, Author, Dies at 66

Here is some sad news :-(

The family of Michael Crichton, the million-selling author of such historic and prehistoric science fantasies as "Jurassic Park," "Timeline" and "The Andromeda Strain," says the author has died in Los Angeles.

Crichton died Tuesday at age 66. He had been privately battling cancer, his family said.

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/books/AP-Obit-Crichton.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin

I have enjoyed his books a lot, my favorite ones were
Congo
Timeline
Prey
Jurassic Park
The Lost World

Chinese Factories Closing by the Tens of Thousands (67,000 Were Closed In The First Half Of This Year)

The Los Angeles times has a story about how factories in China are closing at an alarming rate.

First, Tao Shoulong burned his company's financial books. He then sold his private golf club memberships and disposed of his Mercedes S-600 sedan.

And then he was gone.

And just like that, China's biggest textile dye operation -- with four factories, a campus the size of 31 football fields, 4,000 workers and debts of at least $200 million -- was history.

"We're pretty much dead now," said Mao Youming, one of 300 suppliers stiffed last month by Tao's company, Jianglong Group. Lighting a cigarette in a coffee shop here, the 38-year-old spoke calmly about the bleak future of his industrial gas business. Tao owed him $850,000, Mao said, about 60% of his annual revenue. "We cannot pay our workers' salaries. We are about to be bankrupt too."

That is pretty messed up, even China Printing & Dyeing Holding Ltd went belly up.

If the US is in a recession the whole world soon follows.

If Obama wins today then India will fall big time too, Obama doesn't like the outsourcing business and might start penalizing companies who do so.

Is it wrong to sleep with your step dad after your mom dies?

Dear Eve,

Last spring my Mom was killed in a car accident. I came home from college at the end of the semester to help my Step-Dad pack up her things and we spent a lot of time talking about my Mom. One night we decided to open a bottle of her favorite wine to toast her memory, and before I knew it my Step-Dad and I were making love on the living room floor. I always had a crush on him and was jealous that he married my Mom. He says he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I feel like this is the way things were supposed to be but I’m afraid to tell our friends and family.
Eve, what would you do?

Mistress in Mourning

Answer can be found here: http://eve-101.com/mommies-sloppy-seconds/ 

Dzone is down, 500 Servlet Exception Cannot create PoolableConnectionFactory error

Dzone is one of my favorite site to stay on top of programming news. Dzone is down right now. Here is the whole damn exception page, a friendly down for maintenance page would have been better

org.springframework.beans.PropertyBatchUpdateException; nested PropertyAccessExceptions
(1) are:
PropertyAccessException 1: org.springframework.beans.MethodInvocationException:
Property 'blacklistManager' threw exception; nested exception is org.springframework.jdbc.CannotGetJdbcConnectionException:
Could not get JDBC Connection; nested exception is org.apache.commons.dbcp.SQLNestedException:
Cannot create PoolableConnectionFactory (Communications link failure due
to underlying exception:

** BEGIN NESTED EXCEPTION **

java.net.ConnectException
MESSAGE: Connection refused

STACKTRACE:

java.net.ConnectException: Connection refused
at java.net.PlainSocketImpl.socketConnect(Native Method)
at java.net.PlainSocketImpl.doConnect(PlainSocketImpl.java:333)
at java.net.PlainSocketImpl.connectToAddress(PlainSocketImpl.java:195)
at java.net.PlainSocketImpl.connect(PlainSocketImpl.java:182)
at java.net.SocksSocketImpl.connect(SocksSocketImpl.java:366)
at java.net.Socket.connect(Socket.java:519)
at java.net.Socket.connect(Socket.java:469)
at java.net.Socket.(Socket.java:366)
at java.net.Socket.(Socket.java:209)
at com.mysql.jdbc.StandardSocketFactory.connect(StandardSocketFactory.java:173)
at com.mysql.jdbc.MysqlIO.(MysqlIO.java:268)
at com.mysql.jdbc.Connection.createNewIO(Connection.java:2745)
at com.mysql.jdbc.Connection.(Connection.java:1553)
at com.mysql.jdbc.NonRegisteringDriver.connect(NonRegisteringDriver.java:285)
at org.apache.commons.dbcp.DriverConnectionFactory.createConnection(DriverConnectionFactory.java:37)
at org.apache.commons.dbcp.PoolableConnectionFactory.makeObject(PoolableConnectionFactory.java:290)
at org.apache.commons.dbcp.BasicDataSource.validateConnectionFactory(BasicDataSource.java:877)
at org.apache.commons.dbcp.BasicDataSource.createDataSource(BasicDataSource.java:851)
at org.apache.commons.dbcp.BasicDataSource.getConnection(BasicDataSource.java:540)
at org.springframework.jdbc.datasource.DataSourceUtils.doGetConnection(DataSourceUtils.java:113)
at org.springframework.orm.ibatis.SqlMapClientTemplate.execute(SqlMapClientTemplate.java:190)
at org.springframework.orm.ibatis.SqlMapClientTemplate.executeWithListResult(SqlMapClientTemplate.java:249)
at org.springframework.orm.ibatis.SqlMapClientTemplate.queryForList(SqlMapClientTemplate.java:296)
at com.dzone.utils.filters.dao.BlacklistDaoImpl.getBlacklist(BlacklistDaoImpl.java:20)
at com.dzone.admin.managers.BlacklistManager.getBlacklist(BlacklistManager.java:19)
at com.dzone.links.managers.LinkManager.setBlacklistManager(LinkManager.java:242)
at sun.reflect.NativeMethodAccessorImpl.invoke0(Native Method)
at sun.reflect.NativeMethodAccessorImpl.invoke(NativeMethodAccessorImpl.java:39)
at sun.reflect.DelegatingMethodAccessorImpl.invoke(DelegatingMethodAccessorImpl.java:25)
at java.lang.reflect.Method.invoke(Method.java:597)
at org.springframework.beans.BeanWrapperImpl.setPropertyValue(BeanWrapperImpl.java:844)
at org.springframework.beans.BeanWrapperImpl.setPropertyValue(BeanWrapperImpl.java:655)
at org.springframework.beans.AbstractPropertyAccessor.setPropertyValues(AbstractPropertyAccessor.java:78)
at org.springframework.beans.AbstractPropertyAccessor.setPropertyValues(AbstractPropertyAccessor.java:59)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.applyPropertyValues(AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.java:1300)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.populateBean(AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.java:1042)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.doCreateBean(AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.java:539)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory$1.run(AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.java:485)
at java.security.AccessController.doPrivileged(Native Method)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.createBean(AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.java:455)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.AbstractBeanFactory$1.getObject(AbstractBeanFactory.java:251)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.DefaultSingletonBeanRegistry.getSingleton(DefaultSingletonBeanRegistry.java:169)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.AbstractBeanFactory.getBean(AbstractBeanFactory.java:248)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.AbstractBeanFactory.getBean(AbstractBeanFactory.java:170)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.BeanDefinitionValueResolver.resolveReference(BeanDefinitionValueResolver.java:268)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.BeanDefinitionValueResolver.resolveValueIfNecessary(BeanDefinitionValueResolver.java:104)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.applyPropertyValues(AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.java:1274)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.populateBean(AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.java:1042)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.doCreateBean(AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.java:539)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory$1.run(AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.java:485)
at java.security.AccessController.doPrivileged(Native Method)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.createBean(AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.java:455)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.AbstractBeanFactory$1.getObject(AbstractBeanFactory.java:251)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.DefaultSingletonBeanRegistry.getSingleton(DefaultSingletonBeanRegistry.java:169)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.AbstractBeanFactory.getBean(AbstractBeanFactory.java:248)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.AbstractBeanFactory.getBean(AbstractBeanFactory.java:170)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.BeanDefinitionValueResolver.resolveReference(BeanDefinitionValueResolver.java:268)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.BeanDefinitionValueResolver.resolveValueIfNecessary(BeanDefinitionValueResolver.java:104)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.applyPropertyValues(AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.java:1274)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.populateBean(AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.java:1042)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.doCreateBean(AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.java:539)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory$1.run(AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.java:485)
at java.security.AccessController.doPrivileged(Native Method)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.createBean(AbstractAutowireCapableBeanFactory.java:455)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.AbstractBeanFactory$1.getObject(AbstractBeanFactory.java:251)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.DefaultSingletonBeanRegistry.getSingleton(DefaultSingletonBeanRegistry.java:169)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.AbstractBeanFactory.getBean(AbstractBeanFactory.java:248)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.AbstractBeanFactory.getBean(AbstractBeanFactory.java:170)
at org.springframework.beans.factory.support.DefaultListableBeanFactory.preInstantiateSingletons(DefaultListableBeanFactory.java:413)
at org.springframework.context.support.AbstractApplicationContext.finishBeanFactoryInitialization(AbstractApplicationContext.java:735)
at org.springframework.context.support.AbstractApplicationContext.refresh(AbstractApplicationContext.java:369)
at org.springframework.web.context.ContextLoader.createWebApplicationContext(ContextLoader.java:251)
at org.springframework.web.context.ContextLoader.initWebApplicationContext(ContextLoader.java:190)
at org.springframework.web.context.ContextLoaderListener.contextInitialized(ContextLoaderListener.java:45)
at com.caucho.server.webapp.WebApp.start(WebApp.java:1864)
at com.caucho.server.deploy.DeployController.startImpl(DeployController.java:667)
at com.caucho.server.deploy.StartAutoRedeployAutoStrategy.startOnInit(StartAutoRedeployAutoStrategy.java:72)
at com.caucho.server.deploy.DeployController.startOnInit(DeployController.java:549)
at com.caucho.server.deploy.DeployContainer.start(DeployContainer.java:160)
at com.caucho.server.webapp.WebAppContainer.start(WebAppContainer.java:659)
at com.caucho.server.host.Host.start(Host.java:450)
at com.caucho.server.deploy.DeployController.startImpl(DeployController.java:667)
at com.caucho.server.deploy.StartAutoRedeployAutoStrategy.startOnInit(StartAutoRedeployAutoStrategy.java:72)
at com.caucho.server.deploy.DeployController.startOnInit(DeployController.java:549)
at com.caucho.server.deploy.DeployContainer.start(DeployContainer.java:160)
at com.caucho.server.host.HostContainer.start(HostContainer.java:484)
at com.caucho.server.cluster.Server.start(Server.java:1315)
at com.caucho.server.cluster.Cluster.startServer(Cluster.java:710)
at com.caucho.server.cluster.ClusterServer.startServer(ClusterServer.java:542)
at com.caucho.server.resin.Resin.start(Resin.java:703)
at com.caucho.server.resin.Resin.initMain(Resin.java:1157)
at com.caucho.server.resin.Resin.main(Resin.java:1360)


** END NESTED EXCEPTION **



Last packet sent to the server was 7 ms ago.)

GOOG is worth $1

Someone has gone on a crusade against Google, maybe he bought it at $700 and now he lost a lot of money? Check out the stuff he writes on a google.finance message board

thats the REAL value of GOOG, soon the high nominal value of GOOG will
drop to its actual REAL value which is $1 or less. all the stock
market is is a casino where people buy and sell air aka stocks. all
stocks are is empty air. they are NOT tangible real assets, (like gold
or silver) therefore they have NO REAL value. another thing is that
the outcome of GOOG's price has NO direct relation to the company
Google. on the stock market all that is sold is a product of air
called GOOG. the price of this air is NOT based on the Google company.
it is based on the supply and demand for this stock of air. if people
are scared of the economy they sell this air, and vice versa. this has
nothing to do with the company Google. therefore all the casino stock
market measures is NOT GDP, CPI, etc or any economic variable. all it
measures is the market value of air. and now we will see what air's
REAL value is as you watch GOOG plummet to .50 cents. then maybe "it
will be time to buy in! DAMN GOOG is a steal at 50 cents! BUY BUY!
haha what a casino the stockmarket is. it is NOT based on laws, NOT
based on theories, NOT based on fact, NOT based on formulas and math.
it is only based on SPECULATION of future prices and the beliefs that
"investors" have in those prices to bid up or bid down these shares of

im 8 years old and know more about economics than you. the whole idea
of "stocks" is a scam. it is NOT a real asset like land, gold,
capital, etc. it is NOT a real investment. it is simply AIR. it has NO
TANGIBLE REAL VALUE. do you know what the word VALUE means? go READ a
book and learn it, cause a stock has no value. it is a share of air
that is pumped or dumped, bid up or bid down, based on the sentiments
and speculations of "investors". thats it. it has nothing to do with
the well being of the economic, the stability of the currency, GDP of
the country etc. all it is is a market where shares of air are sold.
basically you have given VALUE to something that is NOTHING. what is a
share of GOOG? NOTHING. you DONT OWN GOOG, the CEO of Google tells you
NO I WONT GIVE YOU ANY DIVIDENDS. ILL KEEP ALL the retained earnings
and ill "invest it back into the business". then the google CEO goes
and gives himself and his buddies millions of dollars in bonuses,
while you, the so-called "owner" have no right in anything except
picking a corrupt group of board of directors who all make themselves
wealthy on the backs of the "stock owners". they dont care about
principal agent relationship.
when Google had its IPO it said, "hmmm how can i increase more capital
to enlarge my business. hhhmmm let me think............ill take a pile
of air, divide it into shares and sell it to investment banks, then
theyll sell it to you the "investors" and ill make millions"
you see my post says GOOG will go down to $1. you can make fun of the
REAL value of GOOG, but in a few months you wont be laughing anymore
becuase then the price of GOOG will have reached its true value which
====== NOTHING.

all this "wealth" was built on nothing. in creating a share of GOOG
there are no resources to create it, not costs in making a share, no
labor or capital used to create the share, NOTHING, because it is a
USELESS, VALUELESS, INTANGIBLE piece of garbage air.warren buffet? he
didnt get rich inventing things like Bill Gates. all he did was buy
and sell air to "make fast money" "without working" 1 day in his life.
now, i believe he must have bought alot of shares of air in this stock
market. as it collapses i hope he loses ALL of his "investments"
hahaha what a con artist, he steals money from people the legal way.
the only difference between a bank robber and warren buffet is that a
bank robber uses a gun instead of the casino con-game called the stock
market.
now i said GOOG is actually VALUE-LESS, i said 1$ to show thats where
it will head in 1 month or so. you i can have 10 PhDs from Harvard and
still CANNOT PREDICT the price of this share of air( the value of GOOG
is not based on math formulas but is just based on speculation and
sentiment ). go ahead and tell me ONE formula that tells you the VALUE
of a share of GOOG. THERE IS NONE. so go on pretending how smart you
are (you are actually stupid). in the coming weeks i will see you lose
ALL of your money in this market of shares of air. this week GOOG
will enter the 200 zone, next week 100, then it will hit the bottom, .
0000005, which is the TRUE VALUE of this intangible item of air.
now, go hang yourself quickly before you see this garbage plummet. you
thought you could become rich selling air, but i assure you that you
shall lose EVERYTHING in this con game.

you cannot compare GOLD bullion to shares of air. what does GDP
measure? it measures PRODUCTION. when a share of stock is created,
what is produced? NOTHING. it does not add up in GDP. if stocks had
REAL value then a POOR country in africa could attain high GDP per
capita just by "producing stocks" endlessly day and night. if the
african country mines for and produces Gold, then IT CAN raise GDP and
Net Exports. unfortunately, something that is made of air has no real
value. you CANNOT create something from NOTHING. that is what the
stock market tries to do: take air, cut it up into "shares" and place
a market value on it. NOTHING went into creating a share of GOOG, NO
capital, labor, land, equipment, resources or ANYTHING went into
creating a share of GOOG. there was NO COST in creating the GOOG share
which shows that it truly is garbage. now, comparing to gold is
stupid. gold has held value since the times of ancient egypt.
countries used to have gold coins as currency which had value. now we
have stupid paper fiat currency which "has value" because the
government says its "has value". once inflation begins youll be
burning your paper "currency" to heat your homes. Gold is a REAL
mineral wihich is mined. there are resources, labor, and capital that
are costs of producing an ounce of refined Gold, so you CAN give it a
real value based on the costs it takes to produce it. gold and silver
has always retained its value and thats why for most of history was
used as currency. also, the value of gold always rises in recessions
because it has always retained its value. NEVER will you see the price
of gold drop to $1, but you WILL see the price of GOOG drop to .
00000000006 cents because it is WORTHLESS. when GOOG goes to .0008373
pennies you retards will be yelling "BUY IN NOW! GOOG's A STEAL RIGHT
NOW! DAMN IM LUCKY!!" hahahahahahahahahaha
the stocks have nothing to do with PRODUCTIVITY, therefore they have
nothing to do with GDP, and contribute NOTHING to the economic
development of a country. the value of air cannot be used to measure
GDP. all it is is a LEGAL casino game where the odds of winning are
lower than in blackjack. if i wanted to make a fortune id rather go
count cards in a blackjack game in Vegas or Atlantic City

You can read it all here: GOOG is worth $1

What worries me most about the credit crunch

What worries me most about the credit crunch, is that if one of my checks is returned stamped "insufficient funds", I won't know whether that refers to mine or the bank's!

How an Engineer folds a T-Shirt

You gotta love this comment:

Yep hes an Engineer... who else would be brainless enough to cut cardboard on a ceramic tile floor with out protecting the floor...
Engineers only live in the moment they never think about the future or the past.

Amazing Art With Food

I got some amazing pictures of art with food in my inbox today

The Sarah Palin Debate Flowchart

The Sarah Palin Debate Flowchart

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I am no longer a danger to society

Got this in the mail

The Dow Is Like A Bad Yo-Yo Diet

Take a look at this chart, doesn’t it look like a bad yo-yo diet, the Dow goes up one day and down the next day. But in this case it would be a reversed yo-yo diet since the Dow is losing more than it gains every couple of days. A diet like that would be a image conscious person’s best friend. In the case of a 401K where you invest in mutual funds it is not so good. Take for example the Vanguard 500 index Fund (VFINX ) down over 20% year to date. Of course it could be worse, the China stock index is down 57% year to date.

I am scared to check my 401K, well not really since I still have 30 years or so until I retire. Like Suzy Orman says “Now is the time to buy” right, but first you need to have money to buy! Some of my friend are giving up their pets because they can’t afford to keep the pets anymore. I myself never got into trouble, I put 10K down when I bought my car, I put 29% down when I bought my house, I don’t have any credit card debt. I also don’t have a fancy car and a big screen plasma but at least I can sleep at night without having to worry what will happen if I don’t receive my next paycheck

Google Offers $10million Prize Fund for Ideas that will Change the World

This week, as part of their tenth birthday celebrations, Google has announced the launch of project 10^100 (ten with 100 zeroes), an innovative scheme designed to inspire and fund the development of ideas that will help to change the world.

The internet mogul has called on members of the public to share their ideas for solutions that will help as many people as possible in the global community, offering a $10 million prize pool to back the development of those chosen as winners.

Here is a little video you can watch



To learn more about the project, visit this URL: http://www.project10tothe100.com/why.html

The Street Suffers But Microsoft Increases Dividend And Announces Share Repurchase Program

$40 billion authorized for share repurchase; Dividend increased 18 percent

Microsoft Corp. today announced that its board of directors approved a new share repurchase program authorizing up to an additional $40 billion in share repurchases with an expiration of September 30, 2013.
The board of directors also declared a quarterly dividend of $0.13 per share, reflecting a two cent or 18 percent increase over the previous quarter’s dividend. The dividend is payable December 11, 2008 to shareholders of record on November 20, 2008. The ex-dividend date will be November 18, 2008.
In addition, the company stated that it has completed its previous $40 billion stock repurchase program. Microsoft has returned over $115 billion to shareholders through a combination of share repurchases and dividends over the last five years.

At least one company doesn't seem to suffering like AIG, Merryl Lynch, Lehman Brothers and others.

Got to go, have to buy some gold and platinum bars :-)

In Vitro Succesful For A Third Time

I wrote about the Family We Donated The Eggs To Is Expecting A Girl before. We received an email from the family:

Our little girl was born, she is 8 pounds 1 ounce, twenty-two inches long. She is strong, bright eyed, healthy and beautiful! We are overcome with joy and gratitude to God and the two of you for blessing us with such a precious miracle.
Blessings to you both, and to your family

I saw the picture, it is a little strange to look at the picture and see so many similarities with our own kids. I would say she looks like a cross between our twins.

We did 2 cycles and both resulted in happy and healthy children, this family did one cycle and that also was successful. I know many families who have to do several cycles just to get one successful pregnancy.

Maybe we can meet this child later in life, I don't know that I want to since it might complicate matters for her and her parents. I am sure I will struggle with this but I do think we did the right thing, instead of destroying the eggs another person was born and another family who was childless has a child now.

iTax: States may tax iTunes, other digital downloads

Oh yes, can't wait for the backlash, this is a way to increase piracy.

If you enjoy buying music from iTunes, movies from Amazon.com's Unbox, or computer software from anywhere, be warned: the halcyon days of tax-free digital purchases may be over.

With retail e-commerce sales now estimated to exceed $130 billion a year, and iTunes song purchases topping 5 billion, state politicians and tax collectors have begun to levy new fees on digital downloads.

Call it the iTax. In 2008 alone, at least nine states have considered digital download taxes, and at least five of those states have enacted them into law. Nebraska's governor signed a digital download tax bill into law in April, and a similar measure was adopted in Tennessee in June. As CNET News reported a few months ago, Indiana, South Dakota, and Utah also enacted digital download taxes this year.

Full article here: http://news.cnet.com/8301-13578_3-10013327-38.html?tag=nl.e703

A woman (married three times) walked into a brida

A woman (married three times) walked into a bridal shop
one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking
for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.

Of course, madam,' replied the sales clerk, 'exactly
what type and color dress are you looking for?'

The bride-to-be said: 'A long frilly white dress with a
veil. The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said,
'Please don't take this the wrong way, but gowns of that
nature are considered more appropriate for brides who
are being married the first time -- for those who are a
bit more innocent, if you know what I mean? Perhaps ivory
or sky blue would be nice?'

Well,' replied the customer, a little peeved at the
clerk's directness, 'I can assure you that a white gown
would be quite appropriate. Believe it or not, despite
all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time
bride.

You see, my first husband was so excited about our
wedding that he died as we were checking into our hotel.

My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in
the limo on our way to our honeymoon that we had that
wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other
again.'

'What about your third husband?' asked the sales clerk?

'That one was a Democrat,' said the woman, 'and every
night for four years, he just sat on the edge of the bed
and told me how good it was going to be.................
but nothing ever happened.'

Atheist Finds Absolutely Nothing in His Toast

I wasn’t that hungry tonight so I just thought I would make some toast when all of a sudden it popped up and I was staring at the face of NOBODY in the toast! NON-HOLY WHITE BREAD!

Rest here: http://www.cynical-c.com/?p=11173

Hillary Clinton & Barack Obama were on a boat. The boat sank in a big storm..........

Hillary Clinton & Barack Obama were on a boat. The boat sank in a big storm. There was no life boat.

Who was saved?



Highlight between these lines for the answer
America
Highlight between these lines for the answer

Lazytown, you are making my life miserable

My oldest son has discovered Lazytown. Not only has he discovered it on TV, he has also found it on the computer. He found it on Youtube and of course the noggin website (http://www.noggin.com/shows/lazytown.php).

I am not a person who likes techno music but this sounds like bad techno. So for some crazy reason I have that song Cooking by the Book in my head this morning. No matter how much Metallica I listen to it won’t go away. Maybe I should listen to some Slayer or King Diamond instead. I can only imagine what will happen when the twins discover Lazytown in a year or so :-(

Who Would Participate In Such Crazyness?

hot tub group release (berkeley)

Reply to: pers-116894823@craigslist.org Date: 2005-12-08, 10:51PM PST

Let's keep this simple. I have a hot tub on Euclid. I am having a group release party on December 28th. Everybody is welcome (last time was all men which was fun but I would really like to get some women this time). Here's how it works: Five people get into my 400 gallon redwood hot tub. The temperature is a challenging 125 degrees. After a few minutes, everybody "evacuates." (voids their bowels in the tub). We see what "floats to the surface." This "letting go" stage is followed by a "coming together" stage in which each person helps the person to their left reach satisfaction (handsex). Simple and wonderful.

Some ground rules:
1)No footwear of any kind in the tub! Leave your flip flops on the deck!
2)Do not go into the house.
3)Scents are okay but please, NO GREASY HAIR PRODUCTS.
4)Please refrain from smoking.
5)Once everybody is in the tub, its silent time. No talking until everybody is out.
6)If you do not like what is "going down" (or coming up) step out of the tub. You do not need to make it everybody elses problem.
7)Please commit before showing up. Don't come out to the backyard, check out the "scene" and then decide to leave. This disrupts the experience for everybody.
8)Please no laughing or frivolity. Its not that it has to be "dead serious" but we don't want it to turn into a joke. For many people a group release party is a vulnerable psychosexual experience and your laughter can be shaming.
9)PLEASE NO LOUD TALKING AFTER THE SESSION. MY NEIGHBORS HAVE COMPLAINED SEVERAL TIMES AND HAVE THREATENED TO CALL THE POLICE.
10) If you are over two hundred pounds it is fine, but please let me know in advance.
11)PLEASE NO DIABETICS, PREGNANT WOMEN OR PEOPLE WITH HEALTH CONDITIONS WHICH MAY BE AFFECTED BY A LONG AND UNUSUALLY HIGH TEMPERATURE HOT TUB SITUATION.
12)NO DRUGS OF ANY KIND!!!!
13)Please make sure that you have eaten well and NOT EXCRETED FOR AT LEAST TWELVE HOURS before coming.
14)No food in the hot tub or on the deck. If you must eat, finish your food in your car.
15)You can park directly out front or along the street. PLEASE DO NOT PARK IN THE DRIVEWAY. If parking is limited park on POPLAR st.
16)Do not turn on the airration jets under any circumstances. This makes the party impossible to clean up afterwards and also disrupts the atmosphere in the tub.
17)Please show up on time for the session. The orientation period is extremely important and helps to insure that the party will be a success for all participants.
18)NO CAMERAS OF ANY KIND INCLUDING CAMERA PHONES. For many, the session is a "discreet" experience and respect for individual privacy concerns is of utmost importance.
19)If you have a health concern which you believe may be transmittable through personal waste material please wait for at least two weeks after the matter has cleared up before attending a session.
20)You are welcome to bring a friend PROVIDED I KNOW IN ADVANCE. Please do not show up with an extra participant. Thank you for your interest and contact me if you wish to participate.


So let me get this straight; shit in the tub but make sure you don't bring any ketchup.

Polar Bear Eating A Head Or How To Get Horse Lovers Pissed Off

What is going on with all these horse loving idiots. Here are some comments from the flickr page

kurtise_wells says:
this is disuting i am a horse lover y put sumthing on like this


heatherds94 says:
Who ever put these pic on here is a stuped asshole. I'm a horse lover and i hate people who do these to aniamls. you stuped assholes. FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!


buckarmitage says:
Why...................Would.....................................U...................Do.......................That..............................!?I..H8te............. U!*Ur a horse hater*



And the best one is here

The comments on this are pure WIN.

And by win, I mean, where the hell did all of these total morons come from? Is this actually flickr? Can I block and ban these people so I don't have to see their inane comments?

Is YouTube down or something? Or is it time to delete my flickr account and move over to picasa or something?

Hey, morons? Check this out.
If you use more than one exclaimation point you're a moron.
If you use numbers instead of letters, you're a moron.
If you can't use an apostrophe properly? Yup, you're a moron.

If you think that feeding a dead horse carcass to a bear in a zoo is cruel, but you don't think keeping a bear in a zoo is cruel - you're totally a fucking moron.

If you think animals are "peaceful" - especially polar bears - you're such a fucking moron I have no idea how you even remember to breathe. How do you even tie your shoes? Can you even wipe your own ass? Does the spoonful of cereal get lost on the way from the bowl to your mouth? Do you actually get hypnotized and trapped by random shiny objects? I mean, other than your TV. We already know you're trapped by that.

Morons of the world? Keep it up. You're just making it easier for me to get work, and I'm a goddamn high school dropout. I look forward to ignoring your crappy service at WalMart.

However, if you do any of the above moronic things and you happen to be under ten years old - you might not be a moron. Yet. But you'd probably start cracking the books and learning how to write properly.

Unless you like working at WalMart. Do you? I'd hate it, personally, but I don't like working with dangerously stupid morons.


Also, I had no idea they fed carcasses to the large predators at zoos. I suppose I just imagined they'd cut it up for them. Why I would imagine that, I don't know. Bears are perfectly capable of eating a carcass. That's pretty much what they're evolved to be - carcass eating machines.

What do you think?

Thinking of Having Kids? Do this 11 step program first!

Got this from my wife, I guess she is having a hard time :-)

Thinking of Having Kids (or grand kids)? Do this 11 step program first!

If you are interested in doing day care do this,
but multiply it by 5 or 7…

Lesson 1.

Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might
feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room
from 5PM-10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2. Eat cold food with one hand for dinner
3. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
4. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
5. Set the alarm for 3AM.
6. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM, make a drink and watch an infomercial.
7. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
8. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
9. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
10. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out. Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies.. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a
pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat.

1. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight.
2. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.You are now ready to
feed a nine- month- old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame
Street, Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?)
Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth
it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!

Obama or Hillary, who will it be?

Today is the day to find out who will run against McCain. I predict a tie and Obama will win in overtime :-)

Why Men Do Not Write Advice Columns

Dear Walter:
I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I had not gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home, I could not believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbor lady making mad passionate love to her. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that he had been having an affair for the past six months.
I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum, he has become increasingly distant. I do not feel I can get through to him anymore.
Can you please help?
Sincerely, Mrs... Sheila Usk


Dear Sheila:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.
I hope this helps.


Walter

Family We Donated The Eggs To Is Expecting A Girl

As you of you might know I have written about the family we donated our eggs to in this post: Donating Eggs

Well it turns out they are expecting a girl, the girl will be born sometimes in July.

Here is what the couple emailed us

Today we saw the ultra sound of a very healthy, and active,24-week-old little girl who is growing right on schedule. She will arrive mid July. We feel beyond blessed to be experiencing all the wonderful emotions of parenthood and the fact that the pregnancy has gone so well. I do have two questions if possible for your reply sometime in the future. One, with so much talk of vaccines being linked to autism these days I want to do what’s right. A good indicator of vaccine caution is if siblings were adversely affected after vaccination shots. Would you share if any of the genetic siblings had adverse affects? And,you don’t have to answer, but curious to know what the genders of the genetic siblings are. Thank you and I pray all is healthy and well with your family.

By emailed us I mean that the organization emailed us, we are not in direct contact with the family.

A Cleaning Is Worst Than A Root Canal

Of course this is just my biased opinion but I seriously rather have a root canal done than going for a cleaning at the dentist. Went for a cleaning today and I just hate it. I hate sitting in the chair, I hate hearing the sound of the drill at work in the room next door, I hate plaque being scraped of my teeth. Gosh how I hate going for a cleaning. A couple of weeks ago I had a root canal reconstruction done; a root canal procedure which was done 10 years ago got infected. I don't mind that at all, I know what is going to happen. With a cleaning you never know, I just love when they slip and jam the instrument into your gums. My wife is such a pussy, she is already stressed out about a filling she needs in 3 weeks, give me a break!

Our Presidential Choices

Our Presidential Choices :-)

Fitna the Movie: Geert Wilders' film about the Quran (English On Google Video

You can watch Geert Wilders' movie Fitna on Google video

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3369102968312745410&hl=en

Make sute to check out the comments. Here is one

Mr. Wilders is a man who loves and values life. If you are an uneducated idiot, please, do not embarrass yourself and say you are sorry for this man revealing islam, the religion that tells musloims to murder all your non-muslmi children. You, before you let spit drip down your face when you speak, do as we have done. Study islam. Learn it. It is simple. Islam commands muslims murder all non-muslims. This movie is the greatest work of love any man can do.

Watching this stuff just pisses me off!

Attended the effective discipline stategies for children/teens seminar

Today I attended the effective discipline stategies for children/teens seminar. When my wife suggested this seminar to me I thought it would be a waste of time and money ($200). I am glad I took it, a lot of things are much clearer to me now. For example the difference between a punishment and a consequence

Consequenses:
Fit The Behaviour
Are for bad choices, NOT bad kids
Are about now, not the past
Are firm, friendly and kind
Permit choice

Punishment
Invites rebellion
Teaches resentment
Attack on self-esteem
Relationship is based on fear
Dehumanizing
Teaches children to bully others

Kids bully other kids because the same happens to them at home. If your kid needs therapy then go with him, by making him go by himself you will make him feel that something is wrong with him. The person doing the seminar also said that kids are way over-medicated nowadays.

If you want to know more about this seminar visit ParentAssist

Video: Denied exit, child uses lunch box as toilet

Denied exit, child uses lunch box as toilet

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/03/18/payne.fl.kid.lunchbox.bathroom.wesh

That is just bullshit, the kid should have pooped right on the teacher's desk instead

This is what Facebook will look like in a couple of months

This is what Facebook will look like in a couple of months: http://img248.imageshack.us/img248/9660/facebook2ww5.jpg

You know it is true :-)

Funny Apple SDK comment on SlashDot.

Funny Apple SDK comment on SlashDot.

Could Apple face government regulators?

For what reason? Last I heard Apple did not have a monopoly on cell phones, or even on smart phones. The only thing they seem to have a monopoly on is fanboys.

Don't like the iPhone's rules, don't buy the phone. There are a multitude of alternatives. The FCC does not regulate what US providers can and can not restrict on their cell phone networks currently in any way.

Fanboys will revolt now!

How Lazy Can You Be?

My wife has this friend who has adopted a baby. The baby is 13 months old. This friend went for a checkup with the baby, the doctor told here that there is some tooth decay and that she should stop giving the baby a bottle. The doctor wants her to feed the baby cereal. Now my wife's friend is all upset because it was so easy to give the baby a bottle while she was having her coffee.
Give me a fucking break! I have three kids that I feed, do I complain? Occasionally but this in my opinion is just ludicrous.
This friend is lucky that she didn't have this baby from day one but at thirteen months, she missed out on all the sleepless nights :-(

Enough ranting.

Woman gives birth to identical in-vitro triplets

If you have read the Donating Eggs post I wrote a while back then you know that we had our three kids through in-vitro fertilization.When I first read the Woman gives birth to identical in-vitro triplets article on CNN I was very surprised. Take a look at this

"This is the first one we're aware of in the literature in the country in which they only put back one embryo" and a woman gave birth to triplets, said Klein. "Most people put back two or three embryos, and you just never know."

Identical triplets are born at a rate between one in 60,000 and one in 200 million, depending on the research, Klein said.

We put two embryos back the first time and had one baby (a boy), the second time we put two back and both of them made it (a boy and a girl). The remaining eggs we donated also resulted in a successful pregnancy. I think the couple we donated the eggs to still have one frozen embryo left. I can only imagine what it must be like having three kids at the same time, good luck with feeding them. You have to get help for the first two months at least or you will end up crazy.

Rush Limbaugh Is So Scared Of Obama That He Urges Fellow Republicans To Vote For Hillary

Rush turned into a real pussy, maybe he forgot to take his medicine?

Here is what he says on his site

I know I'm fighting an uphill battle here, folks, on trying to convince you Republicans in Ohio and Texas to cross over, pimp yourselves for a day, vote for Hillary to keep this campaign going, this Uncivil War, Democrat Party. I know what's going to happen. Even if I convince you to do it -- remember what this is, this is about us winning. You have to understand, it's not about Hillary winning; it's about us winning. It's about our party winning. It's about those people losing. They've got some problems in the Democrat Party. It's not all sweetness and light over there, and we need them to continue warring with each other. We love these stories of black people claiming they've been threatened with violence or their lives because they're not supporting Obama. We want all this kind of stuff out there. We want the Clinton campaign to keep pumping out these pictures of Obama dressed up as Bin Laden. We want this kind of stuff. If Hillary loses this thing, all of that's going to come to a screeching halt. We want all the disruption in that party as possible. It's about us winning.

I said this before; if Hillary wins then McCain will be president, if Obama wins then he will be the next president. There are enough Hillary haters out there who would not vote for her and stay home during the election. Rush realizes this and tries desperately to ‘help’ Hillary

It turns out my wife does not have breast cancer

In my Don't Go For A Mammography Exam On The Birthday Of Your Son post I wrote that my wife might have breast cancer. My wife had a biopsy done on Thursday and we just got the results back today. my wife does not have breast cancer :-)

More than anything I am glad for our kids, they are very young (two are nineteen months and one is four). I would hate it for them to grow up without a mother. My mother lost her mother to cancer when she was about fifteen. My father never knew his father; his father died from bronchitis when my father was a month old. Ironically my grandfather who was diabetic since his thirties lived until ninety three

Tech Bubble 2.0?

Click on pic for larger image or click on link below for the current chart


http://finance.google.com/finance?chdnp=1&chdd=1&chds=1&chdv=1&chvs=maximized&chdeh=0&chfdeh=0&chdet=1204146000000&chddm=15249&cmpto=NASDAQ:MSFT;NASDAQ:BIDU;NASDAQ:AMZN;NASDAQ:ORCL;NASDAQ:CNET&q=NASDAQ:GOOG

Penis Wants A Raise

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely,
P. Niss
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The Response:

Dear Penis:

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised,
the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other
locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order
to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the
correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the
assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting
the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

Sincerely,


V. Gina

Google (GOOG) Down 34% YTD, dropped another 7% today, Apple (AAPL) Down -41% YTD

I am starting to feel sorry for people who bought google and Apple at the beginning of this year
Google is down 34% year to date and Apple is down 41% year to date. Take a look at this guy here

I have no clue but it's definetly not a good sign! I bought google at
$683 so far im down like 30% or something im wondering weither or not
to sell and put my money in something that has a chance of going up or
hold on to google for the long run any suggestions?

Let's do the math for him :-0
If you run this in SQL

select ((451/683.0) -1) * 100

The output is indeed -33.967

What would you do if you bought the stock at $683?

What about this person whou bought the stock at $730

GOOG BROKE 500 SUPPORT

I've got to say, this is quite poxy!

I bought in at $730, two days before the decline began. It was a
stupid move, I will admit. I got carried away in the hype, which is
probobly one of the worst errors an investor can make.


Since I invested with money I could afford to lose I've decided that
I'll either make a profit in this trade or lose it all. So either it
goes back up and I make a small profit, or the company goes out of
business and I lose everything.


Sure what the hell, poor emotionally driven entry, poor emotionally
driven exit strategy.


I don't recommend it, just thought I'd share it.


The only real logic behind it is that there's a worldwide slump
dragging everything down, Google included, and I think Google is
healthy enough to ride it out without going bust.

Lipitor And Grapefruit A Dangerous Combination So Fuck Grapefruit

That's right, this image says it all xkcd: Fuck Grapefruit

Table 'ping' is marked as crashed and should be repaired

oops Pingoat has some problems :-(

Warning: mysql_query(): Unable to save result set in /var/www/pingoat.com/web/db_mysql.php on line 60Table 'ping' is marked as crashed and should be repaired

Someone needs to run a mysqlcheck --auto-repair ....... command

Adobe AIR 1.0 Released

Adobe released Adobe AIR 1.0 today. We have been working with the beta product for the last 4 months. AIR is pretty cool you can either use Flex or JavaScript/HTML to create rich desktop apps. More details here: http://www.adobe.com/products/air/

Wind powered turbine out of control

Wind powered turbine out of control, just look at how it breaks apart.

Understanding Engineers

Understanding Engineers - Take one

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were
waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those
blokes? We must have been waiting
for fifteen minutes !"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've
never seen such inept
golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the greens
keeper. Let's have a word with
him."
He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with
that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a
group of blind fire
fighters. They lost their sight saving our
clubhouse from a fire last
year, so we always let them play for free
anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I
will say a special prayer for
them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to
contact my ophthalmologist
colleague and see if there's anything he can
do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at
night?"




Understanding Engineers - Take Two


To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as
it needs to be.




Understanding Engineers - Take Three

Two engineering students were walking across
a university campus when
one said, "Where did you get such a great
bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was
walking along yesterday,
minding my own business, when a beautiful
woman rode up on this bike,
threw it to the ground, took off all her
clothes and said, "Take what
you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly and
said, "Good choice; the
clothes probably wouldn't have fit you
anyway."





Understanding Engineers - Take Four


What is the difference between mechanical
engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil
engineers build targets.




Understanding Engineers - Take Five


The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why
does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks,
"How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks,
"How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do
you want fries with that?"




Understanding Engineers - Take Six


Three engineering students were gathered
together discussing the
possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just
look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical
engineer. The nervous system has
many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it had to
have been a civil engineer.
Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline
through a recreational area?"




Understanding Engineers - Take Seven


Normal people believe that if it ain't broke,
don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it
doesn't have enough
features yet.




Understanding Engineers - Take Eight


An engineer was crossing a road one day, when
a frog called out to him
and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a
beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it
in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you
kiss me and turn me back into
a beautiful princess, I will stay with you
for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket,
smiled at it and returned
it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and
turn me back into a
Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and
do ANYTHING you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled
at it and put it back into
his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter?
I've told you I'm a
beautiful princess and that I'll stay with
you for one week and do
anything you want.
Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I
don't have time for a
girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's
cool."

Microsoft to open up?

Microsoft announced yesterday: Microsoft Makes Strategic Changes in Technology and Business Practices to Expand Interoperability.

Steve Ballmer said:

Number one, we're committing to ensure open connections for our high volume products.
Number two, we're committing to promote data portability for our high volume products.
Number three, we're committing to enhancing Microsoft's support for industry standards.
And four, we're committing to fostering a more open engagement with industry, as well as the open source software community.

I think that Microsoft did this mostly to please the EU who is still on their case about openness and including the browser. If they don't do this then the EU would never approve the MSFT + YHOO deal. What do you think?

IRS Pencil Sharpener

Screwed by the IRS?

Two women were playing golf.....

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her
ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the parallel hole.
The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.
"Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could
relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him.

"Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man
replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.

She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his
pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful
massage for several long moments and asked, "How does that feel?"

He replied, "It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken."

I really really really like HBO's In Treatment and particularly Mellisa George

I really really really like In Treatment. Mostly because of Melissa George. The show has some pretty good dialog(ue), check it out if you have HBO. Of course whenever I think a woman is 'hot' my wife thinks she is either nothing special or ugly. My wife and her sisters think that Angelina Jolie is ugly too, I think they are jealous and/or crazy.

The Million Dollar Question For The Serbian Prime Minister, Kosovo Is....

The Million Dollar Question For The Serbian Prime Minister, Kosovo Is....

Why Doesn't The Blackberry Have An Equal Sign On The Keyboard

Why the heck is there no equal sign (=) on the Blackberry keyboard? Instead I have to press sym(bol) and then select the = sign......very annoying. Otherwise I love my Blackberry.

Don't Go For A Mammography Exam On The Birthday Of Your Son

Yesterday my wife went for a mammography exam, the mammogram showed some issue and deposits which could be cancerous. The doctor told my wife she has 25% of having cancer. My wife was devastated and in no mood for the birthday party we had after that. On Monday she will go for a biopsy and we will know more at that point. My wife is only 39 and we have a 4 year old and twins who are a year and a half. My wife's aunt died from breast cancer when she was about the same age as my wife :-(

Cranium Hullabaloo Must Be Very Popular

It was the birthday of my oldest son yesterday, he had 8 kids at his party. He got the Cranium Hullabaloo toy 3 times. It must be a very popular toy, I never heard of it until now.

what do I do with the remaining two? Maybe I'll keep it for his younger twin brother and sister

Scala Plugin 2.6.4 released, Scala 2.7.0-RC2 released, Scala Plugin 2.7.0-RC2 released

Scala Plugin 2.6.4 released
New Version of the Scala plugin for Eclipse.
Version 2.6.4 fixes several bugs and integrates Scala 2.6.0-RC3.

Scala 2.7.0-RC2 released
Release Candidate 2 of the Scala distribution.
Version 2.7.0-RC2 fixes a few bugs in RC1.


Scala Plugin 2.7.0-RC2 released
New Version of the Scala plugin for Eclipse.
Version 2.7.0-RC2 fixes several bugs and integrates Scala 2.7.0-RC2.


Get all that good stuff here: http://www.scala-lang.org/index.html

Predicting The Next President

Midas Oracle .ORG has a very interesting post about predicting the next president and how the New York Times and the Associated Press have different delegate numbers for Hillary and Obama. A very interesting article.

Diet Coke Addiction Problem

No matter what I do, I can't stop drinking this stuff. It also doesn't help that I only sleep between 4 and 6 hours at night. Is there such a thing as DCA (Diet Coke Anonymous)?

Jericho Season 2 Starts Tonight

Jericho Season 2 tonight at 10PM on CBS. One of the best shows to come along in the last 5 years. It paid off to mail all those nuts to CBS

watch the season 2 previews here: http://www.cbs.com/primetime/jericho/video/video.php?cid=629546370&pid=kiyOeL0Cp1ekNWVMNqZHIpRjQRVtBaHS&play=true&cc=2

Wil Shipley on Hype: “Hype is foreplay for geeks.”

“Hype is foreplay for geeks.”

Microsoft Responds to Yahoo! Announcement, is not pleased

Microsoft is not pleased with Yahoo's decision. Microsoft Corp. (NASDAQ:MSFT) today issued the following statement in response to the announcement by Yahoo! Inc. (NASDAQ:YHOO) that its Board of Directors has rejected Microsoft’s previously announced proposal to acquire Yahoo!:

It is unfortunate that Yahoo! has not embraced our full and fair proposal to combine our companies. Based on conversations with stakeholders of both companies, we are confident that moving forward promptly to consummate a transaction is in the best interests of all parties.

We are offering shareholders superior value and the opportunity to participate in the upside of the combined company. The combination also offers an increasingly exciting set of solutions for consumers, publishers and advertisers while becoming better positioned to compete in the online services market.

A Microsoft-Yahoo! combination will create a more effective company that would provide greater value and service to our customers. Furthermore, the combination will create a more competitive marketplace by establishing a compelling number two competitor for Internet search and online advertising.

The Yahoo! response does not change our belief in the strategic and financial merits of our proposal. As we have said previously, Microsoft reserves the right to pursue all necessary steps to ensure that Yahoo!’s shareholders are provided with the opportunity to realize the value inherent in our proposal.

Oh well

Separated At Birth: Amy Winehouse Bride Of Frankenstein Doll

Separated At Birth? Amy Winehouse and the Bride Of Frankenstein Doll

Which remark about Chelsea Clinton is worse?

Sen. John McCain, speaking to a Republican dinner, June 1998.

Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno

Is this worse than the comment below?

NBC News' David Shuster, talking with pundit Bill Press on MSNBC's "Tucker," Feb. 7, 2008.

But doesn't it seem like Chelsea's sort of being pimped out in some weird sort of way?

So now Shuster is suspended and maybe his career is in jeopardy, John McCain might be the next president of the United States.

The Prophet Muhammad In Action

Abu l-Qasim Muhammad was the founder of Islam and is regarded by Muslims as the last messenger and prophet of God

Generally speaking, Muslims believe images of Mohammed are unacceptable, and many would say it is haram.

This was largely based on the idea that making images of Mohammed -- and Allah -- would likely lead to idolatry

Remember the outcry from a year back about the cartoon published in a bunch of newspapers in Europe? Well wait till they see this one

http://www.taz.de/blogs/wp-inst/wp-content/blogs.dir/44/files/2006/11/LEGO%20Mohammed.jpg

Banking Trojan can circumvent two-factor authentication

This is just fricking amazing. I am glad I don't 'bank' online

Targeting over 400 banks (including my own :( ! ) and having the ability to circumvent two-factor authentication are just two of the features that push Trojan.Silentbanker into the limelight. The scale and sophistication of this emerging banking Trojan is worrying, even for someone who sees banking Trojans on a daily basis.

This Trojan downloads a configuration file that contains the domain names of over 400 banks. Not only are the usual large American banks targeted but banks in many other countries are also targeted, including France, Spain, Ireland, the UK, Finland, Turkey—the list goes on.

The ability of this Trojan to perform man-in-the-middle attacks on valid transactions is what is most worrying. The Trojan can intercept transactions that require two-factor authentication. It can then silently change the user-entered destination bank account details to the attacker's account details instead. Of course the Trojan ensures that the user does not notice this change by presenting the user with the details they expect to see, while all the time sending the bank the attacker's details instead. Since the user doesn’t notice anything wrong with the transaction, they will enter the second authentication password, in effect handing over their money to the attackers. The Trojan intercepts all of this traffic before it is encrypted, so even if the transaction takes place over SSL the attack is still valid. Unfortunately, we were unable to reproduce exactly such a transaction in the lab. However, through analysis of the Trojan's code it can be seen that this feature is available to the attackers.

Read the whole article here: http://www.symantec.com/enterprise/security_response/weblog/2008/01/banking_in_silence.html

2Live Crew Here I come

How can you take all these drugs without thinking?

Here are the drugs found in Heath Ledger's body:

• Oxycodone -- narcotic/painkiller; trade names: OxyContin, Percodan
• Hydrocodone -- narcotic/painkiller; trade name (combined with acetaminophen): Vicodin
• Diazepam -- anti-anxiety drug; trade name: Valium
• Alprazolam -- anti-anxiety drug; trade name: Xanax
• Doxylamine -- sleep medication; trade name: Unisom
• Temazepam -- sleep medication; trade name: Restoril


I took Oxycodone once for about 5 days while my root canal acted up, however I made sure that I called my doctor telling him that I took Motrin 2 hours ago. You can't just pop fricking pills all day long.

Scala 2.7.0-RC1 released

Release Candidate 1 of the Scala distribution.

Version 2.7.0-RC1 introduces minor language changes and provides several library improvements and many bug fixes.

Requirements

The Scala software distribution is best installed on a Unix or Windows system. It requires version 1.4 or later of a Java runtime environment (Sun JRE or IBM JRE).

Google,IBM,Microsoft,Verisign and Yahoo Join OpenID

The OpenID Foundation today announced that Google (Nasdaq:GOOG), IBM (NYSE: IBM), Microsoft Corp. (Nasdaq: MSFT), Verisign (Nasdaq:VRSN) and Yahoo! (Nasdaq: YHOO) have joined as its first corporate board members.

With these companies’ deep expertise in Internet and security technology, the OpenID Foundation strengthens the industrywide effort to empower users with portable Web identities, or OpenIDs. This effort helps ensure the evolution of an open and interoperable Internet that helps people take control of how their personal information is used online and helps online businesses attract and retain more users by simplifying and securing the management of digital identities.

OpenID Technology

With the increased use of the Internet to conduct business and the rise of new types of online interactions, such as social networking and user-generated content, innovative kinds of digital identifier technologies are necessary to sustain the “open Web.” OpenID enables individuals to convert one of their already existing digital identifiers — such as their personal blog’s URL — into an OpenID account, which then can be used as a login at any Web site supporting OpenID.

Wide adoption of OpenID reduces the frustration of repeatedly having to register username/password accounts and then later recalling login information for an ever-increasing array of Web sites. For online businesses, these efforts can lower password and account management costs, help reduce the overall risks of security breaches by limiting the amount of customer personal information businesses need to store and protect, and increase both new and return user traffic by lowering the barriers to Web site entry and reentry.

To learn more about the OpenID Foundation, please visit http://openid.net/foundation.

To learn more about the OpenID, please visit http://openid.net.

Do you think it’s ok for troubled homeowners to just walk away?

If you are part of this housing crisis, and you can't afford your house anymore would you walk away?
That's what you get for giving people a house with bad credit, 2% down and a 4% ARM. I don't think the government should bail those people out either

CNN posted a story yesterday: When is it ok to walk away?


Just read the comments. Here are some of the better ones, you got to love the lawyer's comment (last one)

This one is for all of you sheep out there who intend to remain “responsible” and live your little lives hiding behind a minimal mortgage and “safe” investments, retiring one day with no mortgage and just enough to die on.

Opportunity is knocking, answer the door!

I am a landlord with houses and apartments, 100% occupied and getting calls every day now from VERY QUALIFIED renters who no longer have a place to call home. Yes they have income, but are choosing to either wait out the decline or have sent in the chain mail. Yes I do credit and background checks, they are all honest and I verify they have income but horsedung credit. I’ll take the gamble, as long as they show up in their nice SUV bought on equity loans and show me a current pay stub.

Now here is the best part, and you don’t need to stay up late to see this infomercial here it is in plain English. I buy that foreclosed property for 60-70% market value, and rent it back to handsome, hard-working Americans for 200-500/month more than the interest-only payment. Yes I have a day job too, as evidenced by the time stamp here I have the time to do both. How many of these does it take for me to profit INCREDIBLY WELL from this debacle? I’ll tell you I have 23 now and intend to get twice that going over the course of this year, as long as there is chainmail there will be the wolves out here snarfing up the warm carcasses.

To all you sheep, enjoy your early retirement and die with no debt. I’ll see you on the other side, in my Mercedes.

-----

I laugh at the banks, because of there greed, and now there getting screwed. They have been screwing us for years. Look at a typical mortgage, when do you pay all the interest the first 5 to 7 years of the Mortgage. How long do people typically live in a house before they move, 5 to 7 years….
What comes around goes around, I hope the American oil companies and Car Companies are next! Watch Who killed the Electric car? GM and For were so short sited…Now foreign companies are years ahead of them…while Hydrogen cars are decades away…they’ll be the next bankrupt companies….oh and bail them out with my tax dollars…they can go screw themselves..that’s mine and my communities

-----

I think every.single. person. who did this is an absolute moron no matter what your situation. Here we are, foolish enough to think working hard still matters, trying to save, work hard, use coupons, never going over what we can afford, not using credit, buying a house we can afford with over $20K down, on a fixed 30 year, then selling it, teaching our son the value of working hard when all along these absolute geniuses have really figured it out - DON”T WORK, just let OTHERS PAY FOR YOUR MESS!!!!

That is the way to go. I dont even have to see these people - I already know them. these are the ones with new cars (never buy used, not good enough), newest technology in cell phones and tvs (never mind that I do not have that stuff bc i cant pay CASH for it )and these people do not even know what cash is (cash, what’s that?)

These are folks who just let others bail them out. these are the types of people who will sue McDonald’s ‘ for making them fat’

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS, AMERICA!!!!

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I walked. Not being proud. My house was appraised at $320k my loan $285. I paid a bit over $5ok in one year when I got behind by 2 months. Most of it not principal obviously, I was 5 days late on a $3500 a month payment and they couldnt guarentee me they wouldnt forclose. I told them why am I trying then. I gave it back after having it on the market for what I owed for almost 2 years. They sold the house the same month I had to leave with my two kids after living there for 10 years. The house sold for $179k…..Why wouldnt they help me when I was willing to pay. Are mortgage companies insured for the appraised value? Do they make out better if there is a forclosure? There has to be a loop hole or why dont they care at all about the customers. Is a former Ameriquest CEO appointed by Bush as an ambassador to the Netherlands or somewhere? Thats what I heard and I cant believe it.

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Okay people. Lets be for real. It’s not the lenders fault at all! At the time they (borrowers) qualified for the loan and EVERYONE was told that if they were in an arm that they needed to refi. before the arm was up. Some people listened and some didn’t, and some lived the American dream of just spending and spending.

As for your home declining in value. well lets take a look at something the houseing industry has called an appreciating asset. Your house ages RIGHT? Many items become out dated like the furnace, plaster walls, old insulation so your home becomes let effcient RIGHT! Now your going to list a home that you bought 10 years ago for $150,000 and you now going to ask $195,000 based on a conservative 3% per year. For what??? It’s all very easy to understand when you look at the facts. The stock market has to make a correction some time… Why wouldn’t the housing market?

Who I really feel sorry for are those first time home buyers that can’t come up with even the down payment because the home prices have become so inflated to match our American egos.

I can’t wait for the day my car appreciates 3% a year.

-----

I am a bankruptcy lawyer with the top consumer bankruptcy firm in Las Vegas, DeLuca & Associates. If a homeowner cannot afford the mortgage payments and there is negative equity in the property, walking away may be the only logical conclusion. If a homeowner buys a home for $300,000.00 and the property drops to $250,000.00, it may take many years to just get back to even. Traditional appreciation is 3-5 percent. The double digit appreciation in home values seen in 2005 was an anomaly, not likely to be seen again in our lifetimes. Also, when you sell that home you will pay 6% to a real estate agent and $10,000 in closing costs. This means your $250,000 home is really worth $225,000. Finally, you will likely not find a buyer willing to buy you the market value!

Walking away sometimes makes perfect sense.

Anthony J. DeLuca, Esq.
DeLuca & Associates