Tech Bubble 2.0?

Click on pic for larger image or click on link below for the current chart


http://finance.google.com/finance?chdnp=1&chdd=1&chds=1&chdv=1&chvs=maximized&chdeh=0&chfdeh=0&chdet=1204146000000&chddm=15249&cmpto=NASDAQ:MSFT;NASDAQ:BIDU;NASDAQ:AMZN;NASDAQ:ORCL;NASDAQ:CNET&q=NASDAQ:GOOG

Penis Wants A Raise

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely,
P. Niss
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The Response:

Dear Penis:

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised,
the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other
locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order
to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the
correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the
assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting
the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

Sincerely,


V. Gina

Google (GOOG) Down 34% YTD, dropped another 7% today, Apple (AAPL) Down -41% YTD

I am starting to feel sorry for people who bought google and Apple at the beginning of this year
Google is down 34% year to date and Apple is down 41% year to date. Take a look at this guy here

I have no clue but it's definetly not a good sign! I bought google at
$683 so far im down like 30% or something im wondering weither or not
to sell and put my money in something that has a chance of going up or
hold on to google for the long run any suggestions?

Let's do the math for him :-0
If you run this in SQL

select ((451/683.0) -1) * 100

The output is indeed -33.967

What would you do if you bought the stock at $683?

What about this person whou bought the stock at $730

GOOG BROKE 500 SUPPORT

I've got to say, this is quite poxy!

I bought in at $730, two days before the decline began. It was a
stupid move, I will admit. I got carried away in the hype, which is
probobly one of the worst errors an investor can make.


Since I invested with money I could afford to lose I've decided that
I'll either make a profit in this trade or lose it all. So either it
goes back up and I make a small profit, or the company goes out of
business and I lose everything.


Sure what the hell, poor emotionally driven entry, poor emotionally
driven exit strategy.


I don't recommend it, just thought I'd share it.


The only real logic behind it is that there's a worldwide slump
dragging everything down, Google included, and I think Google is
healthy enough to ride it out without going bust.

Lipitor And Grapefruit A Dangerous Combination So Fuck Grapefruit

That's right, this image says it all xkcd: Fuck Grapefruit

Table 'ping' is marked as crashed and should be repaired

oops Pingoat has some problems :-(

Warning: mysql_query(): Unable to save result set in /var/www/pingoat.com/web/db_mysql.php on line 60Table 'ping' is marked as crashed and should be repaired

Someone needs to run a mysqlcheck --auto-repair ....... command

Adobe AIR 1.0 Released

Adobe released Adobe AIR 1.0 today. We have been working with the beta product for the last 4 months. AIR is pretty cool you can either use Flex or JavaScript/HTML to create rich desktop apps. More details here: http://www.adobe.com/products/air/

Wind powered turbine out of control

Wind powered turbine out of control, just look at how it breaks apart.

Understanding Engineers

Understanding Engineers - Take one

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were
waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those
blokes? We must have been waiting
for fifteen minutes !"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've
never seen such inept
golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the greens
keeper. Let's have a word with
him."
He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with
that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a
group of blind fire
fighters. They lost their sight saving our
clubhouse from a fire last
year, so we always let them play for free
anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I
will say a special prayer for
them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to
contact my ophthalmologist
colleague and see if there's anything he can
do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at
night?"




Understanding Engineers - Take Two


To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as
it needs to be.




Understanding Engineers - Take Three

Two engineering students were walking across
a university campus when
one said, "Where did you get such a great
bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was
walking along yesterday,
minding my own business, when a beautiful
woman rode up on this bike,
threw it to the ground, took off all her
clothes and said, "Take what
you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly and
said, "Good choice; the
clothes probably wouldn't have fit you
anyway."





Understanding Engineers - Take Four


What is the difference between mechanical
engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil
engineers build targets.




Understanding Engineers - Take Five


The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why
does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks,
"How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks,
"How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do
you want fries with that?"




Understanding Engineers - Take Six


Three engineering students were gathered
together discussing the
possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just
look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical
engineer. The nervous system has
many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it had to
have been a civil engineer.
Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline
through a recreational area?"




Understanding Engineers - Take Seven


Normal people believe that if it ain't broke,
don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it
doesn't have enough
features yet.




Understanding Engineers - Take Eight


An engineer was crossing a road one day, when
a frog called out to him
and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a
beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it
in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you
kiss me and turn me back into
a beautiful princess, I will stay with you
for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket,
smiled at it and returned
it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and
turn me back into a
Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and
do ANYTHING you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled
at it and put it back into
his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter?
I've told you I'm a
beautiful princess and that I'll stay with
you for one week and do
anything you want.
Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I
don't have time for a
girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's
cool."

Microsoft to open up?

Microsoft announced yesterday: Microsoft Makes Strategic Changes in Technology and Business Practices to Expand Interoperability.

Steve Ballmer said:

Number one, we're committing to ensure open connections for our high volume products.
Number two, we're committing to promote data portability for our high volume products.
Number three, we're committing to enhancing Microsoft's support for industry standards.
And four, we're committing to fostering a more open engagement with industry, as well as the open source software community.

I think that Microsoft did this mostly to please the EU who is still on their case about openness and including the browser. If they don't do this then the EU would never approve the MSFT + YHOO deal. What do you think?

IRS Pencil Sharpener

Screwed by the IRS?

Two women were playing golf.....

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her
ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the parallel hole.
The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.
"Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could
relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him.

"Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man
replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.

She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his
pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful
massage for several long moments and asked, "How does that feel?"

He replied, "It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken."

I really really really like HBO's In Treatment and particularly Mellisa George

I really really really like In Treatment. Mostly because of Melissa George. The show has some pretty good dialog(ue), check it out if you have HBO. Of course whenever I think a woman is 'hot' my wife thinks she is either nothing special or ugly. My wife and her sisters think that Angelina Jolie is ugly too, I think they are jealous and/or crazy.

The Million Dollar Question For The Serbian Prime Minister, Kosovo Is....

The Million Dollar Question For The Serbian Prime Minister, Kosovo Is....

Why Doesn't The Blackberry Have An Equal Sign On The Keyboard

Why the heck is there no equal sign (=) on the Blackberry keyboard? Instead I have to press sym(bol) and then select the = sign......very annoying. Otherwise I love my Blackberry.

Don't Go For A Mammography Exam On The Birthday Of Your Son

Yesterday my wife went for a mammography exam, the mammogram showed some issue and deposits which could be cancerous. The doctor told my wife she has 25% of having cancer. My wife was devastated and in no mood for the birthday party we had after that. On Monday she will go for a biopsy and we will know more at that point. My wife is only 39 and we have a 4 year old and twins who are a year and a half. My wife's aunt died from breast cancer when she was about the same age as my wife :-(

Cranium Hullabaloo Must Be Very Popular

It was the birthday of my oldest son yesterday, he had 8 kids at his party. He got the Cranium Hullabaloo toy 3 times. It must be a very popular toy, I never heard of it until now.

what do I do with the remaining two? Maybe I'll keep it for his younger twin brother and sister

Scala Plugin 2.6.4 released, Scala 2.7.0-RC2 released, Scala Plugin 2.7.0-RC2 released

Scala Plugin 2.6.4 released
New Version of the Scala plugin for Eclipse.
Version 2.6.4 fixes several bugs and integrates Scala 2.6.0-RC3.

Scala 2.7.0-RC2 released
Release Candidate 2 of the Scala distribution.
Version 2.7.0-RC2 fixes a few bugs in RC1.


Scala Plugin 2.7.0-RC2 released
New Version of the Scala plugin for Eclipse.
Version 2.7.0-RC2 fixes several bugs and integrates Scala 2.7.0-RC2.


Get all that good stuff here: http://www.scala-lang.org/index.html

Predicting The Next President

Midas Oracle .ORG has a very interesting post about predicting the next president and how the New York Times and the Associated Press have different delegate numbers for Hillary and Obama. A very interesting article.

Diet Coke Addiction Problem

No matter what I do, I can't stop drinking this stuff. It also doesn't help that I only sleep between 4 and 6 hours at night. Is there such a thing as DCA (Diet Coke Anonymous)?

Jericho Season 2 Starts Tonight

Jericho Season 2 tonight at 10PM on CBS. One of the best shows to come along in the last 5 years. It paid off to mail all those nuts to CBS

watch the season 2 previews here: http://www.cbs.com/primetime/jericho/video/video.php?cid=629546370&pid=kiyOeL0Cp1ekNWVMNqZHIpRjQRVtBaHS&play=true&cc=2

Wil Shipley on Hype: “Hype is foreplay for geeks.”

“Hype is foreplay for geeks.”

Microsoft Responds to Yahoo! Announcement, is not pleased

Microsoft is not pleased with Yahoo's decision. Microsoft Corp. (NASDAQ:MSFT) today issued the following statement in response to the announcement by Yahoo! Inc. (NASDAQ:YHOO) that its Board of Directors has rejected Microsoft’s previously announced proposal to acquire Yahoo!:

It is unfortunate that Yahoo! has not embraced our full and fair proposal to combine our companies. Based on conversations with stakeholders of both companies, we are confident that moving forward promptly to consummate a transaction is in the best interests of all parties.

We are offering shareholders superior value and the opportunity to participate in the upside of the combined company. The combination also offers an increasingly exciting set of solutions for consumers, publishers and advertisers while becoming better positioned to compete in the online services market.

A Microsoft-Yahoo! combination will create a more effective company that would provide greater value and service to our customers. Furthermore, the combination will create a more competitive marketplace by establishing a compelling number two competitor for Internet search and online advertising.

The Yahoo! response does not change our belief in the strategic and financial merits of our proposal. As we have said previously, Microsoft reserves the right to pursue all necessary steps to ensure that Yahoo!’s shareholders are provided with the opportunity to realize the value inherent in our proposal.

Oh well

Separated At Birth: Amy Winehouse Bride Of Frankenstein Doll

Separated At Birth? Amy Winehouse and the Bride Of Frankenstein Doll

Which remark about Chelsea Clinton is worse?

Sen. John McCain, speaking to a Republican dinner, June 1998.

Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno

Is this worse than the comment below?

NBC News' David Shuster, talking with pundit Bill Press on MSNBC's "Tucker," Feb. 7, 2008.

But doesn't it seem like Chelsea's sort of being pimped out in some weird sort of way?

So now Shuster is suspended and maybe his career is in jeopardy, John McCain might be the next president of the United States.

The Prophet Muhammad In Action

Abu l-Qasim Muhammad was the founder of Islam and is regarded by Muslims as the last messenger and prophet of God

Generally speaking, Muslims believe images of Mohammed are unacceptable, and many would say it is haram.

This was largely based on the idea that making images of Mohammed -- and Allah -- would likely lead to idolatry

Remember the outcry from a year back about the cartoon published in a bunch of newspapers in Europe? Well wait till they see this one

http://www.taz.de/blogs/wp-inst/wp-content/blogs.dir/44/files/2006/11/LEGO%20Mohammed.jpg

Banking Trojan can circumvent two-factor authentication

This is just fricking amazing. I am glad I don't 'bank' online

Targeting over 400 banks (including my own :( ! ) and having the ability to circumvent two-factor authentication are just two of the features that push Trojan.Silentbanker into the limelight. The scale and sophistication of this emerging banking Trojan is worrying, even for someone who sees banking Trojans on a daily basis.

This Trojan downloads a configuration file that contains the domain names of over 400 banks. Not only are the usual large American banks targeted but banks in many other countries are also targeted, including France, Spain, Ireland, the UK, Finland, Turkey—the list goes on.

The ability of this Trojan to perform man-in-the-middle attacks on valid transactions is what is most worrying. The Trojan can intercept transactions that require two-factor authentication. It can then silently change the user-entered destination bank account details to the attacker's account details instead. Of course the Trojan ensures that the user does not notice this change by presenting the user with the details they expect to see, while all the time sending the bank the attacker's details instead. Since the user doesn’t notice anything wrong with the transaction, they will enter the second authentication password, in effect handing over their money to the attackers. The Trojan intercepts all of this traffic before it is encrypted, so even if the transaction takes place over SSL the attack is still valid. Unfortunately, we were unable to reproduce exactly such a transaction in the lab. However, through analysis of the Trojan's code it can be seen that this feature is available to the attackers.

Read the whole article here: http://www.symantec.com/enterprise/security_response/weblog/2008/01/banking_in_silence.html

2Live Crew Here I come

How can you take all these drugs without thinking?

Here are the drugs found in Heath Ledger's body:

• Oxycodone -- narcotic/painkiller; trade names: OxyContin, Percodan
• Hydrocodone -- narcotic/painkiller; trade name (combined with acetaminophen): Vicodin
• Diazepam -- anti-anxiety drug; trade name: Valium
• Alprazolam -- anti-anxiety drug; trade name: Xanax
• Doxylamine -- sleep medication; trade name: Unisom
• Temazepam -- sleep medication; trade name: Restoril


I took Oxycodone once for about 5 days while my root canal acted up, however I made sure that I called my doctor telling him that I took Motrin 2 hours ago. You can't just pop fricking pills all day long.

Scala 2.7.0-RC1 released

Release Candidate 1 of the Scala distribution.

Version 2.7.0-RC1 introduces minor language changes and provides several library improvements and many bug fixes.

Requirements

The Scala software distribution is best installed on a Unix or Windows system. It requires version 1.4 or later of a Java runtime environment (Sun JRE or IBM JRE).

Google,IBM,Microsoft,Verisign and Yahoo Join OpenID

The OpenID Foundation today announced that Google (Nasdaq:GOOG), IBM (NYSE: IBM), Microsoft Corp. (Nasdaq: MSFT), Verisign (Nasdaq:VRSN) and Yahoo! (Nasdaq: YHOO) have joined as its first corporate board members.

With these companies’ deep expertise in Internet and security technology, the OpenID Foundation strengthens the industrywide effort to empower users with portable Web identities, or OpenIDs. This effort helps ensure the evolution of an open and interoperable Internet that helps people take control of how their personal information is used online and helps online businesses attract and retain more users by simplifying and securing the management of digital identities.

OpenID Technology

With the increased use of the Internet to conduct business and the rise of new types of online interactions, such as social networking and user-generated content, innovative kinds of digital identifier technologies are necessary to sustain the “open Web.” OpenID enables individuals to convert one of their already existing digital identifiers — such as their personal blog’s URL — into an OpenID account, which then can be used as a login at any Web site supporting OpenID.

Wide adoption of OpenID reduces the frustration of repeatedly having to register username/password accounts and then later recalling login information for an ever-increasing array of Web sites. For online businesses, these efforts can lower password and account management costs, help reduce the overall risks of security breaches by limiting the amount of customer personal information businesses need to store and protect, and increase both new and return user traffic by lowering the barriers to Web site entry and reentry.

To learn more about the OpenID Foundation, please visit http://openid.net/foundation.

To learn more about the OpenID, please visit http://openid.net.

Do you think it’s ok for troubled homeowners to just walk away?

If you are part of this housing crisis, and you can't afford your house anymore would you walk away?
That's what you get for giving people a house with bad credit, 2% down and a 4% ARM. I don't think the government should bail those people out either

CNN posted a story yesterday: When is it ok to walk away?


Just read the comments. Here are some of the better ones, you got to love the lawyer's comment (last one)

This one is for all of you sheep out there who intend to remain “responsible” and live your little lives hiding behind a minimal mortgage and “safe” investments, retiring one day with no mortgage and just enough to die on.

Opportunity is knocking, answer the door!

I am a landlord with houses and apartments, 100% occupied and getting calls every day now from VERY QUALIFIED renters who no longer have a place to call home. Yes they have income, but are choosing to either wait out the decline or have sent in the chain mail. Yes I do credit and background checks, they are all honest and I verify they have income but horsedung credit. I’ll take the gamble, as long as they show up in their nice SUV bought on equity loans and show me a current pay stub.

Now here is the best part, and you don’t need to stay up late to see this infomercial here it is in plain English. I buy that foreclosed property for 60-70% market value, and rent it back to handsome, hard-working Americans for 200-500/month more than the interest-only payment. Yes I have a day job too, as evidenced by the time stamp here I have the time to do both. How many of these does it take for me to profit INCREDIBLY WELL from this debacle? I’ll tell you I have 23 now and intend to get twice that going over the course of this year, as long as there is chainmail there will be the wolves out here snarfing up the warm carcasses.

To all you sheep, enjoy your early retirement and die with no debt. I’ll see you on the other side, in my Mercedes.

-----

I laugh at the banks, because of there greed, and now there getting screwed. They have been screwing us for years. Look at a typical mortgage, when do you pay all the interest the first 5 to 7 years of the Mortgage. How long do people typically live in a house before they move, 5 to 7 years….
What comes around goes around, I hope the American oil companies and Car Companies are next! Watch Who killed the Electric car? GM and For were so short sited…Now foreign companies are years ahead of them…while Hydrogen cars are decades away…they’ll be the next bankrupt companies….oh and bail them out with my tax dollars…they can go screw themselves..that’s mine and my communities

-----

I think every.single. person. who did this is an absolute moron no matter what your situation. Here we are, foolish enough to think working hard still matters, trying to save, work hard, use coupons, never going over what we can afford, not using credit, buying a house we can afford with over $20K down, on a fixed 30 year, then selling it, teaching our son the value of working hard when all along these absolute geniuses have really figured it out - DON”T WORK, just let OTHERS PAY FOR YOUR MESS!!!!

That is the way to go. I dont even have to see these people - I already know them. these are the ones with new cars (never buy used, not good enough), newest technology in cell phones and tvs (never mind that I do not have that stuff bc i cant pay CASH for it )and these people do not even know what cash is (cash, what’s that?)

These are folks who just let others bail them out. these are the types of people who will sue McDonald’s ‘ for making them fat’

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS, AMERICA!!!!

-----

I walked. Not being proud. My house was appraised at $320k my loan $285. I paid a bit over $5ok in one year when I got behind by 2 months. Most of it not principal obviously, I was 5 days late on a $3500 a month payment and they couldnt guarentee me they wouldnt forclose. I told them why am I trying then. I gave it back after having it on the market for what I owed for almost 2 years. They sold the house the same month I had to leave with my two kids after living there for 10 years. The house sold for $179k…..Why wouldnt they help me when I was willing to pay. Are mortgage companies insured for the appraised value? Do they make out better if there is a forclosure? There has to be a loop hole or why dont they care at all about the customers. Is a former Ameriquest CEO appointed by Bush as an ambassador to the Netherlands or somewhere? Thats what I heard and I cant believe it.

-----

Okay people. Lets be for real. It’s not the lenders fault at all! At the time they (borrowers) qualified for the loan and EVERYONE was told that if they were in an arm that they needed to refi. before the arm was up. Some people listened and some didn’t, and some lived the American dream of just spending and spending.

As for your home declining in value. well lets take a look at something the houseing industry has called an appreciating asset. Your house ages RIGHT? Many items become out dated like the furnace, plaster walls, old insulation so your home becomes let effcient RIGHT! Now your going to list a home that you bought 10 years ago for $150,000 and you now going to ask $195,000 based on a conservative 3% per year. For what??? It’s all very easy to understand when you look at the facts. The stock market has to make a correction some time… Why wouldn’t the housing market?

Who I really feel sorry for are those first time home buyers that can’t come up with even the down payment because the home prices have become so inflated to match our American egos.

I can’t wait for the day my car appreciates 3% a year.

-----

I am a bankruptcy lawyer with the top consumer bankruptcy firm in Las Vegas, DeLuca & Associates. If a homeowner cannot afford the mortgage payments and there is negative equity in the property, walking away may be the only logical conclusion. If a homeowner buys a home for $300,000.00 and the property drops to $250,000.00, it may take many years to just get back to even. Traditional appreciation is 3-5 percent. The double digit appreciation in home values seen in 2005 was an anomaly, not likely to be seen again in our lifetimes. Also, when you sell that home you will pay 6% to a real estate agent and $10,000 in closing costs. This means your $250,000 home is really worth $225,000. Finally, you will likely not find a buyer willing to buy you the market value!

Walking away sometimes makes perfect sense.

Anthony J. DeLuca, Esq.
DeLuca & Associates

Song of the day: Purple Rain by Prince

Song of the day is Purple Rain by Prince
Forgot just how good that song was, I used to listen to it a lot during the 1980s. Listen to it again last night for the first time in years. I also have a 15+ minute version from the Purple Rain tour.

If Hillary Clinton Wins.....

If Hillary gets the Democratic nomination then McCain will be president
If Obama gets the Democratic nomination then Obama will be president

It is in Democrats interest to make sure that Hillary does not win

And yeah Ron Paul was nowhere near double digits

Democrats Needed to Win = 2,025
Clinton 783
Obama 709

Republicans Needed to Win = 1,191
McCain 559
Romney 265
Huckabee 169

My Next Life By George Carlin

Got this in an email

My Next Life By George Carlin

I want to live my next life backwards:You start out dead and get that
out of the way.Then you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every
day.Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.Enjoy your retirement and
collect your pension.Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your
first day.
You work 40 years until you're too young to work.You get ready for
college and high school: you drink alcohol, party, and you're generally
promiscuous.Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you
have no responsibilities.Then you become a baby, and then...You spend your last
9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions -
central heating, room service on tap, and then...You finish off as an
orgasm.

Raising Boys (Good luck)

Raising Boys
a) For those who have children past this age, this is hilarious.
b) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
c) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
d) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas. Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. Ft.house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. Room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Donating Eggs

My wife and I had our three kids through in vitro fertilization. We decided that 3 kids was enough and decided to donate the remaining eggs. We screened a bunch of couples and finally settled on a couple that seemed right. A couple of days ago we received a letter that the couple was expecting. Below is that letter

Late last October four embryos were thawed, three were viable and then transferred. We are overjoyed to share that of the three God breathed life into one. The little one is now 13 weeks strong, healthy and growing. Today, results from the first trimester screening came back normal. It is too soon to tell if it is a boy or girl, however we will stay in touch. Thank you seems to be an insufficient way to express our joy and anticipation of the future gift you have given. Blessings to you and your family

I told my mother that we were going to donate the eggs when she visited us last fall; my mother didn’t say anything but I could sense that she didn’t really like the idea. She probably thinks it is some kind of Frankenstein science. There are two things we could do with the eggs; destroy them or donate them to another couple. We did the latter and I think we did the right thing.

Google Dips Below $500

Google (GOOG) just dipped below $500.
If you go to Google Finance (http://finance.google.com/finance?q=goog ) some people say
GOOG = under $100 soon.
Its all over for this stock, sell, sell, sell ....
GOOG was just downgraded at Goldman Sachs



I guess the people who want to buy Google stock say it will drop to 100, the ones who (still) own it are saying it will be back to $550 by the end of this week.
I am just enjoying reading all that stuff :-)

Daddy Doesn’t Have A Real Job

My wife asked my 3 year old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said that he wants to be a teacher or a fireman. Then my wife asked him if he wanted to work with computers like his daddy. His response?
That is not a real job
So my son thinks I am on the Webkinz site whole day. Oh well :-(

Spending Some Good Time With My Oldest Son

Today I took my son on the train to New York City. I brought a book with me but managed to read only 6 pages. My son who is going to be four in two weeks had question after question after question. Here are some of them.

How much longer?
Why did the man take our ticket?
How can we go under the water?
What is that red thing on the window?
How does the train move?

After a while you wish you could ignore it, but you can’t. My parents told me that I was exactly the same when I was his age. Whenever I take my oldest son with me he thinks it is a little special because he usually shares our attention with his 18 month old twin brother and sister. I bought him a muffin and a juice at Penn Station and he really appreciated that. We took the subway to the Upper East Side and the escalator didn’t work so of course I had to answer another 20 questions or so.
On the way back home he told me that he can’t wait to do it again next year. We also went together last year and he was already nagging me about it.

Hillary A La Warhol

One of my liberal friends has made this. I can't stand this woman

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, 'Surely I can't look that old?

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, 'Surely I can't look that old? Well. . .you'll love this one.

My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name.

Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.

“Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a Mustang,” he gleamed with pride.

“When did you graduate?” I asked.

He answered, “In 1964. Why do you ask?”

“You were in my class!” I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely. Then that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat ass, gray-haired, decrepit son-of-a-bitch asked,

“What did you teach?”

Why do we need to bleep out curse words at 10 PM?

Most kids by the age of 12 will know almost every curse word there ever is. If you tell your kids not to curse then they will do it when you are not around. Put a hidden camera at a school yard and you will see what I mean. In Europe it is common to hear all kinds of nasty stuff on the radio during the day, nobody is surprised by this. If the Janet Jackson – Justin Timberlake incident happened in Europe nobody would probably even write about it. There are kids programs for a reason; these programs are made for kids and thus don’t have explicit language in them.
Take a look at Snoop Dogg; he uses the word biatch because he can’t use bitch. Does that make sense? I don’t think so. I think they should have at least 2 different channes for every channel, an unedited one and a PG-13 one for kids and people who get offended by foul language. Enough ranting for today

Microsoft offers to buy Yahoo, del.icio.us will become win.icio.us

Microsoft offers to buy Yahoo, del.icio.us will become win.icio.us, flickr will become Windows Live Ajax Photo Viewer ;-) Of course Microsoft has their own flavor of del.icio.us called Listas and a photo organizer called Windows Live Photo Gallery. Hopefully they won't touch any of those.

Well however owns YHOO stock will surely sell today. Microsoft recently did deals with facebook, digg and Wall Street Journal to provide ads, this will just strengthen their ad presence. Google was eating Yahoo's lunch for years ;-(