Showing posts with label sad but true. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sad but true. Show all posts

Sunday, March 22, 2009

You cannot make up stuff like this

Someone posted this on the Female First Forum

I didn't want to disclose my real user name for this, so am writing this as a guest.

My son is 19 and though I have not seen him nude since he was a boy, I had seen him by accident about 6 months ago, when he had somehow ended up falling asleep naked in his room after a shower with his door wide open. He was on his back and erect in his sleep. I noticed his hard-on had a severe curve upward. It was bent very sharply like curling up bacwards. I had never seen anything like that on any man. It is about 7" long approximately and is bent more toward the tip in a definite shape of a letter "j", or a hook to attempt to describe it to you.

I was so shocked that I panicked, and woke him up right then and there. Thinking back, it was not very tactful, but I could not wait to try to get at what appeared to be a real problem. It all made sense, how he would not shower at gym class, and didn't date, despite being a very well built and handsome boy into sports always. I had always wondered if might be gay, though he denied it always. He awoke surprised and shy that he was naked, but I moved his hands from his erect penis, and asked him what was the matter.

We sat and talked after locking his bedroom door. He told me it had started when he was like 12 and got worse, and as I examined it more closely and attempted to straighten it out, it would straighten only very slightly before it would hurt him to force it any further. It being erect, it was very hard and stiff. We allowed it to subside by him putting on his robe a while, and was a considerably more normal in the soft state, yet still tending to be curved upwars slightly.

I could straighten it easily while soft, but it would bend back up like rubber. As he became erect again it curled up before my eyes into the "j" hook shape.

Now the doctors all said he is find and it's normal as far as being a medical issue. They said they could operate to attempt to fix it, but the cost was out of my reach. I am a single parent. So we took trying our own methods, in which I would tel him to strok it straight whenever he thought about it, and while masturbating to attempt to work the curle out a little more each time.

I had taken a little massage therapy classes in the past, and I even work on it for and hour or so, 3 days of every week in the evening. It was embarassing for us both in the beginning and I know it still it is, and even more so that he ejaculates everytime during the massage :oops: , but it turned out to make massaging it in the post-ejaculation, semi-soft, state really effective because then I can massage it and straighten it. It curls back in my hands and I massage it straight it over and over again, until he becomes erect again and semi hard again after ejaculation, three times in a row, usually over a span of an hour to an hour and a half.

I has given good results, as I would say he is 50 percent improved. I continue to treat him 3 days a week.

I am here to ask anyone with information on this condition for advice and/or tips technics on how we can further correct this.

Thank you all in advance.



Okay, this goes a little too far....I have 2 sons but can't imagine doing stuff like this. This is called a massage with a happy ending. The son should see a doctor and that is the end of it


You read all the responses here: http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/board/my-son-s-penis-problem-t55701.html

Monday, December 15, 2008

Vasectomy: $400. Speechless look on her face: priceless

LMAO reading this gem

'll try to sum up a funny story that happened a few years ago:

I got a vasectomy.

I met a girl soon afterwards. She was nice and attractive but with a selfish streak that raised a big red flag. She was 32 at the time and I could practically HEAR her biological clock ticking. Regardless, she was a good lay, easy on the eyes, and reasonably good company.

I did NOT tell her about my vasectomy and I always used a condom with her to protect against STDs. She assumed, obviously, that the condom was only used for birth control. Silly girl.

We date for a few months. I never made any move towards commitment but she brought it up ocassionally. For me, this was a casual but pleasant relationship. For her - as I was to find out - it was part of life-changing series of events that she was planning very carefully.

Four months into dating, I get the "I'm pregnant" talk. She's going on and on about how the condom must have broke and now we really need to think about getting married "for the baby". She's positively giddy. She has a baby in her and she thinks she's gonna have a good meal ticket (me) to go along with her new 7lb annuity.

At this point, I'm just as giddy. I get to pull the reverse "oops" on her. I figured that she slept with some bad boy and got knocked up. Good thing I was using condoms! Better still that I have a serious mistrust of women who can't think beyond their own uteri.



Rest here: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/274495936.html

Sunday, December 14, 2008

How many cops does it really take to capture a naked lunatic?

How many cops does it really take to capture a naked lunatic?

How many cops does it really take to capture a naked lunatic?

Looks like a lot of cops are needed, just pepper-spray the sucker next time

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Can I have a beer man?

Can I have a beer man?

Wayne from Times Square

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Michael Crichton, Author, Dies at 66

Here is some sad news :-(


The family of Michael Crichton, the million-selling author of such historic and prehistoric science fantasies as "Jurassic Park," "Timeline" and "The Andromeda Strain," says the author has died in Los Angeles.

Crichton died Tuesday at age 66. He had been privately battling cancer, his family said.



http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/books/AP-Obit-Crichton.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin



I have enjoyed his books a lot, my favorite ones were
Congo
Timeline
Prey
Jurassic Park
The Lost World

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Is it wrong to sleep with your step dad after your mom dies?

Dear Eve,

Last spring my Mom was killed in a car accident. I came home from college at the end of the semester to help my Step-Dad pack up her things and we spent a lot of time talking about my Mom. One night we decided to open a bottle of her favorite wine to toast her memory, and before I knew it my Step-Dad and I were making love on the living room floor. I always had a crush on him and was jealous that he married my Mom. He says he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I feel like this is the way things were supposed to be but I’m afraid to tell our friends and family.
Eve, what would you do?

Mistress in Mourning


Answer can be found here: http://eve-101.com/mommies-sloppy-seconds/ 

Thursday, October 2, 2008

I am no longer a danger to society

Got this in the mail
I am no longer a danger to society