A hooded armed robber bursts into a bank.......

Got this in an email today


A hooded armed robber bursts into a bank and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash.
On his way out the door with the loot one brave customer grabs the hood and pulls it off revealing the robber's face.
The robber shoots the guy without hesitation! He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him. One of the tellers is looking straight at him and the robber shoots him also.
Everyone by now is very scared and looking down at the floor.
"Did anyone else see my face?" calls the robber.

There is a few moments silence, then one man, raises his hand and says "I think my wife may have caught a glimpse..."

Santa vs God is there really any difference?

Image from here: http://unreasonablefaith.com/2008/12/15/santa-vs-god/

Vasectomy: $400. Speechless look on her face: priceless

LMAO reading this gem

'll try to sum up a funny story that happened a few years ago:

I got a vasectomy.

I met a girl soon afterwards. She was nice and attractive but with a selfish streak that raised a big red flag. She was 32 at the time and I could practically HEAR her biological clock ticking. Regardless, she was a good lay, easy on the eyes, and reasonably good company.

I did NOT tell her about my vasectomy and I always used a condom with her to protect against STDs. She assumed, obviously, that the condom was only used for birth control. Silly girl.

We date for a few months. I never made any move towards commitment but she brought it up ocassionally. For me, this was a casual but pleasant relationship. For her - as I was to find out - it was part of life-changing series of events that she was planning very carefully.

Four months into dating, I get the "I'm pregnant" talk. She's going on and on about how the condom must have broke and now we really need to think about getting married "for the baby". She's positively giddy. She has a baby in her and she thinks she's gonna have a good meal ticket (me) to go along with her new 7lb annuity.

At this point, I'm just as giddy. I get to pull the reverse "oops" on her. I figured that she slept with some bad boy and got knocked up. Good thing I was using condoms! Better still that I have a serious mistrust of women who can't think beyond their own uteri.

Rest here: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/274495936.html

How many cops does it really take to capture a naked lunatic?

How many cops does it really take to capture a naked lunatic?



Looks like a lot of cops are needed, just pepper-spray the sucker next time